Many people are drawn to kink; however, many may not realize exactly why they are drawn to it. All they know is that is feels good, but why exactly does it feel good? What exactly is going on behind the scenes?
This post takes a deep dive into realms beyond the physical - deep into the psychological mind and even deeper into Spirit. This post is meant to express my own personal experience so that others may reflect and perhaps relate it to their own lives. Please take what you find useful for you as you begin your journey.
You may be reading this post because either you or someone close to you is exploring kink which may or may not be in the form of what some like to call "littlespace". Littlespace refers to a psychological state where one explores their inner child.
Littlespace can take the form of dissociation, where one literally regresses to their child mind-set which can be an experience that's positive, negative, or somewhere in between depending on past experiences. Regardless if it is positive or negative, regression is often a very intense experience. This is how regression has felt like for me: loss of muscle tone, feeling physically weak, intense mood swings, and confusion. It is important to note that everyone experiences dissociation differently, and not everyone who practices littlespace dissociate. However, there appears to be correlation between littlespace and dissociation that makes it worth discussing. Those that dissociate, and perhaps dissociate often, may benefit from grounding activities where one is aligned with Nature. I like to meditate in the sunlight, drink herbal teas, practice yoga and tai chi every day to help balance the experience of the mind with the physical world. I notice that if I do not engage in these grounding activities every day, I am more likely to experience mood swings, irritability, depression, and anxiety. Grounding activities can be as simple as taking a deep breath of fresh air. It is important to find what works for you because no one person is exactly the same.
Littlespace may also be more of a mild experience, where one is exploring how to be carefree and full of wonder like they experienced in childhood. This may involve revisiting objects and activities that once gave them comfort in childhood. For example, a Little may be comfortable wearing onesies and enjoy coloring due to the associations they have with those objects and activities. The objects do not make the Little; meaning, not all Littles need physical stimuli to promote that childlike feeling that is so comforting for many of us. Littlespace is an extremely personal experience that may look different for everyone who practices it.
Now you may be wondering, why are some people drawn to littlespace? What does littlespace offer? The answers to those questions may differ across person to person. Based on my own personal experience, littlespace is a space of healing and recovery. Over time, littlespace gave me the ability to be my authentic self without fear of judgement or ridicule. It also allowed me to revisit traumas from my childhood so that I could fully process them and move forward. Despite what you may see on social media, littlespace can be quite a dark place. However, knowing you aren't alone in that dark place can be one of the most rewarding experiences there are. Know no matter how alone you may feel, please remember that you aren't alone - support is at your fingertips, all you need to do is ask for its assistance.
After practicing littlespace for approximately 5 years, there came a point where I felt like I no longer needed it like I once did; I achieved a sense of inner stability. Some Littles may become very sad when this happens because they feel as though they lost something. Little do they know is that they can access littlespace whenever they desire - it is a gift that stays with you throughout your entire life. You have the power to access that part of yourself if that is what you wish. If there is a will, there is a way.
Shortly after I achieved my inner stability, more shifts slowly but surely appeared in my life again. Major life events occurring (moving to a new home, starting a new job, etc), greater sense of awareness and purpose, and even heightened senses. Although I knew in my heart that these shifts were a good thing, I began to feel very sensitive again - very similarly to how one may feel when they are in littlespace. I again was more prone to mood swings and irritability. However, this time was different - rather that getting overwhelmed by these sensitivities, I recognized them for the gifts that they were and are.
The world is in constant rotation, therefore, is it always moving and gravity in a sense is always moving. I realized that when I found balance, I would shortly become unbalanced because I stayed in the same place. Therefore, achieving balance is something that I have to works towards every single day.
All in all, littlespace allowed me to heal myself. Once I was able to heal myself, a greater sense of understanding and purpose emerged. It did not shield me from the chaos in the world, but it gave me a space to better cope with it. Once I achieved this greater sense of understanding and purpose, I recognized that that was only the beginning - the beginning to something greater than myself.
If you find yourself on this path, know that you are here for a Purpose. If you do not know what that Purpose is, all you need to do is ask and wait for an answer. The answers are all around us. In our mind and on the Earth. It is connected, just as we all are. All you need to do is be open - the rest will follow.